So, Cal dies and my parents and I had gone to Hal and Sarah's. Sarah calls late morning and we talk...she says she is coming if that's what I want and if I don't mind. I say of course, not even knowing how much it would actually mean. She says her mom told her "you've got to go down there and just be her friend, you will be there for her and take care of her b/c everyone else will have Hal, Sarah, etc to take care of." Also, didn't know how true that was. So, on her way, Sarah calls to say do I need anything or want anything, food, etc? Well, up to this point, early afternoon, I hadn't eaten anything. You know that sick feeling of not wanting any food, none of it would satisfy. Well, I decided I really wanted pizza...a Little Caesar's pizza, she said she'd get me one. Well, sidenote: Chick-Fil-A chicken nuggets arrived and those fit my needs! I ate pretty much that for a couple of days. But point is--Sarah was going to get me my little caesar's pizza!
So, she comes and then everything that went on in the next few days: people coming to visit, the visitation, setting up funeral plans, the funeral, just sitting around in shock, sleeping...she was there. And looking back that meant so so much. Imagine me sleeping all by myself (I mean I probably would have gotten through it), but how nice I didn't have to do it alone. She was there to talk to before bed, and there when I woke up. I can remember just sitting on the bed in the room we stayed in in the middle of one afternoon...and I wasn't alone because my best friend Sarah was there. And of course, my sweet little dog Chrisi was there.
About Chrisi--that dog was the best! She knew when someone was hurting, she was always my little comforter. But during the first night sleeping at Hal and Sarah's, when I feel like I am needing her, she got out of my bed(unheard of) in the middle of the night and walks to my Aunt Sarah's bed and gets in the bed with them! And it meant something of comfort to Sarah too! How great is that little dog! But thank goodness for me, I had my friend Sarah still with me.
So visitation day: Sarah and I get ready together, drive together. She let me wear one of her new shirts. She was there through the whole visitation--which was oh so long and sad. Then to bed, and funeral the next day. Same thing, Sarah was there for it all. And it just felt good to have someone there for me. And, Sarah is kind of "huggy" and I am not really. So there were times, and are now that she hugs on me and says I'm so stiff and won't hug back right...true, but even though I am not doing a good job hugging back, it means a lot you are hugging me, Sarah. Thanks for being there.
One other note that is just important that I also remember clearly, her mom said after the funeral back at the house: she said "so what are you going to do next?" (im thinking what?!) She quoted Elisabeth Elliott "Do the next thing"....whatever that is....go to work, walk the dog, move on with life in the best way possible. Don't dwell on the bad.
To another friend: Ashley, Rebecca, Amy, & Alison were significant to me in this time. They were on the phone, at the visitation, funeral, and back at the house. I remember Rebecca in line scared to see Cal. I remember Ms. Amy brought me a goody bag of snacks for the long line of people to visit. Thanks to all for being great people in my life.
|this is us in Germany in 2006!|